Goodbye Melbourne

I’m sitting in the Guangzhou airport with my feet kicked up on my carry-on bag and a cup of steaming green tea next to me. I’ve got about six hours until my next flight to Tokyo, where I’ll meet my Obāchan. I thought about leaving the airport to explore and try to flex my vestigial Mandarin in Guangzhou, but I figured that by the time I found a luggage storage area, left the airport, traveled into the city and then later returned to the airport, and went through customs again, I’d only have a meagre amount of time out and about. Also, I’ve just never been a fan of leaving the airport during long layovers. I actually really enjoy long layovers in the airport. I feel like there’s something magical about the liminality: all the people with different passports, the huge windows and views of the planes on the runways, the empty hours of calm before a new adventure. I like finding a peaceful, quiet corner and using the alone time to catch up on my reading and writing. Hence, this long overdue Substack post!

I haven’t posted since October about my life in West Footscray, a suburb of Melbourne, Australia because I’ve been too busy living said life. And because PhD applications took up a lot of my writing time and energy from November to January. But all the work paid off because I have some good news about PhD results that I will share in my next post! For now, though I want to reflect on the past six months I spent in West Footscray and highlight some of my favorite activities and memories.

I feel like I really manifested my life and experiences in West Footscray. When I was envisioning this gap year, I imagined myself writing during the day and working as a bartender at night; I imagined slinging cocktails, exchanging funny banter with coworkers and customers; going out to trendy bars and clubs with new friends; and just enjoying the excitement of being young in a big city. And guess what? I succeeded. I did all of that and I cherished every moment of it. I am beyond grateful for my twenty-nine-year-old-wine-bartender-in-a-cute-suburb-next-to-a-big-city-era while it lasted!

The highlight of these past six months was absolutely the community of West Footscray and the wine bar where I worked. All of my coworkers and everyone on our street was so incredibly friendly. WeFo Wines really felt like a family. Because I worked at the wine bar, and frequented the local independent bookstore, yoga studio, nail salon, library and grocery store, I was constantly running into friendly faces, sometimes having chats and sometimes just exchanging a wave or smile. Maybe because I grew up imbibing Gilmore Girls and idealizing the whimsical Stars Hollow, I’ve always valued community. But living in WeFo has made me realize that community is truly something that I need in my life in order to feel fulfilled, and without it I feel lonely and isolated.

Last week when I was saying my goodbyes, many people thanked me for being a part of the community and said that I would be missed, which really meant a lot. People were also often surprised when I said I had only been living in WeFo for six months. It seemed and felt like I had been there for longer. The former mayor of Maribynong even followed me on Instagram, which made me feel like a true Lorelai Gilmore!

But as lovely as West Footscray was, I never got the gut feeling that it was my forever home. And as much as I loved bartending and the morning writing time it afforded me, I knew it was only temporary, which made it all the more special. Sometimes, though, I did wonder, why can’t I just do this forever? What’s wrong with such a life? And the answer is, of course, that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I don’t think it’s the path for me. As tempting as it might be, I know that bartending is not my ultimate calling and won’t make me happy in the way that creative writing and literary doctoral study will. But I will take the lessons I learned about myself from this period and carry them with me.

There will also undoubtedly be other places in the world that will have a strong sense of community like that of WeFo, and depending on my schedule I may try to find a bartending gig just one night a week in the future because it’s a great way to meet people.

Another thing about West Footscray that was so awesome is that it’s only a 30-minute commute right into Melbourne’s CBD. So, I got the cohesive community feel of a small town, plus the nightlife, arts and culture of a trendy city. It makes sense why my cousin Mae and her partner Matt are hoping to stay in WeFo forever!

I’ve always considered myself a small-town gal, but perhaps that’s just because that’s what I’m most familiar with. I grew up in a semi-rural Ohio suburb; lived in small Mississippi and Maine college towns; and even lived on a permaculture farm in rural Massachusetts for a while. I’ve always loved being able to get anywhere I need to be in a 5–15-minute drive with no traffic; going on nature walks and trail runs; listening to frogs and crickets at night; hearing country music playing in a neighbor’s backyard; driving past farmers markets and horse stables; running into friendly faces in town; reading a book on a blanket in the grass; swimming in the local river or lake; and having just enough to do without feeling overwhelmed.

I’ve disdained big cities for the traffic, long commutes, crowds, anonymity, rats and trash, concrete, lack of nature, high cost of living, cutthroat competitive vibes, workaholism, rampant consumerism, obsession with status and overwhelming number of events happening all the time. From writing the two above lists, I think it’s obvious that I am still very much a country girl, but living in Melbourne has helped me to notice and appreciate the pros of big city life more.

The truth is: there is just so much more to do in a city. There was always something going on in Melbourne, which was really good during a gap year, but I imagine would be distracting if I was in school. In small towns there’s usually arts and culture but not all the time and not necessarily always at the high caliber of a big city. In Melbourne, I was able to see the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra perform for free at a beautiful outdoor venue and watch them rehearse at Hamer Hall. I was able to see an acrobatic Orpheus & Eurydice opera at the Regent Theater, and watch a string trio called the Wattleseed Ensemble perform on a Saturday morning in the Abbotsford Convent. I went to countless art museums and galleries including an exhibition about the nature of creativity at the State Library.

And if I felt like going out, there was always something to do in that regard as well. I danced at underground raves in abandoned warehouses in the industrial suburb of Brooklyn, went to a Valentine’s Day “stoplight bar crawl” in St Kilda (red wristband if you’re taken, yellow if it’s complicated, green if you’re single), went to a Sidney Myer Music Festival for NYE, and rented a boat with friends and drank rosé on the Yarra River while watching the sun set over the city skyline.

I think the best thing about living in a big city is that you’re always able to find a subgroup or activity that you enjoy. Mae and Matt really love playing the card game Magic: The Gathering, so they’ve found numerous bars where they can play Magic and meet people with the same interest. Personally, I love Sabrina Carpenter, so I went to two different bars that were hosting Sabrina Carpenter music nights, and sang and danced to my heart’s content. I also joined a local bookclub that focused on books relating to nature, which was so soul-nourishing.

Melbourne, and the surrounding areas, also does have opportunities for some wonderful nature explorations. Right in the city, on the Yarra River, we watched grey-headed flying foxes descend at dusk to forage for flowering eucalypts and native fruits. Then just 20 minutes from WeFo is the Jawbone Marine Sanctuary in Williamstown, where we went snorkeling and saw jellyfish, toadfish, zebrafish, dusty morwong, starfish, sea urchins and coral. And on Philip Island, just a few hours away, we saw the smallest species of penguins in the world waddle home over the shore after a long day of fishing. It was all so magical!

Overall, I can see why the London-based international guide Time Out ranked Melbourne as the best city in the world in 2026. I loved the high quality arts scene, the accessible wildlife, vibrant nightlife and delicious food. And I am so happy that Mae and Matt have made their home in such a wonderful city because then I’ll get to visit again! But weirdly enough I didn’t feel the urge to relocate to Melbourne myself. Melburnians often assumed that I was applying to PhD programs in the city and working towards an Australian permanent resident visa, and were shocked when I said I wanted to return to the U.S. for my PhD. I know that rationally it would probably be safer and better to live in Australia for the rest of my life, but it’s just not my home. It may not be rational, but that’s how I feel and I’m learning to trust my gut when it comes to major life decisions.

Interestingly enough, despite all the exciting and glamorous things I did in Melbourne, my favorite days were often the simpler ones in WeFo. On a nice sunny day I walked to a local coffee shop and enjoyed the swish of the tree leaves, the flowers in peoples’ gardens, the kids getting dropped off at school; then I got a delicious egg sandwich and single origin drip black coffee and wrote on my laptop for hours. Another day I went to a different coffee shop and on the way home checked out the local community center, where I had a lovely chat with the inaugural writer-in-residence; then sat out in the garden and read. I think there’s nothing I love more than the quiet joys of a peaceful day, nice walk outside, good cup of coffee and the opportunity to do what I love most: read and write.

But alas, now it’s time for me to let all of that go and move on to the next chapter of my life: Tokyo.

Here are a few pictures, and video of bats (!!) that I didn’t upload to social media. To see all of my adventures though, check out my Instagram!

Perfect moment

I love her so much! And look how cute our WeFo house is <3